Rejection, Resilience & Remembering Why You Write

If you’ve ever refreshed your inbox with a knot in your stomach, stared at a “we regret to inform you” email, or heard nothing and just got crickets or wondered whether you should stop submitting altogether, you are not alone. Putting your writing out there can be exciting, motivating and life-changing. It  can also be emotionally exhausting, upsetting and soul destroying.

For many writers, rejection feels personal. You spend hours, months, sometimes years, creating something deeply connected to your sense of self  and then send it off to strangers for judgement. There’s a vulnerability to it. Like someone reading your diary in secret. It’s a feeling like no other. And sometimes it sucks!

So instead of talking about “how to win”, let’s talk about how to stay mentally well while continuing to submit your work. Let’s talk about self care.

First: rejection is part of the writing process

Even highly successful authors receive rejections regularly. Publishing, submitting to agents and competitions are subjective spaces. Your work can be beautifully written and still not fit a judge’s taste, theme, timing or shortlist balance.

A rejection is not proof that:

• your writing has no value.

• you aren’t talented.

• you should quit.

• everyone else is better than you.

It usually means:

• this particular story wasn’t selected this time. That distinction matters.

• you may need to continue to develop your craft a little more. There are lots of free resources on line and podcasts.

• feedback if available, is important to understand why you were not succesful.

Try not to tie your self-worth or writing ability to outcomes

Competitions can quietly become emotional scoreboards. You enter one competition and feel hopeful. Then another. Then another. Soon, every acceptance feels like validation, and every rejection feels like failure. With competitions that don’t offer feedback or only to those who are listed, you are left in a void not knowing why your story wasn’t selected. You read the success stories and excerpts on competition websites and think mine was as good as that, why wasn’t I selected, and you feel like giving up. But your worth as a writer doesn’t  depend on external approval. Instead, try measuring success differently:

• did you finish the novel/story for the first time?

• Was this story better than the last one you wrote, and you can see that?

• did you submit despite fear?

• did you take a creative risk?

• did you keep going?

• did you have a good time doing it?

These are real achievements too.

Create a “submission mindset” instead of a “winning mindset”

A healthy writing life is built on consistency, not constant victory. Professional writers often aim for regular submissions rather than emotional perfection. That means:

• sending work out consistently

• expecting some rejection

• treating submissions as part of practice

• understanding that persistence matters

One useful rule: Submit, then detach.

Once your work is sent:

• avoid obsessively checking emails

• begin something new

• don’t reread the entry repeatedly -even published writers pick up their books in shops and wish they could change things.

• don’t predict outcomes

• protect your energy for the writing itself.

Build a rejection recovery routine

Rejections sting more when we pretend they shouldn’t matter. Instead of suppressing disappointment, create a small routine that helps you process it.

For example:

• allow yourself to feel upset for a set amount of time

• talk to your friends and family about it and express how you feel- don’t pretend it is Ok if it isn’t.

• avoid doom-scrolling or comparison.

• talk to other writers – they know how you feel.

• save encouraging feedback in a “confidence folder.”

• remind yourself how many writers face rejection daily.

Momentum helps prevent rejection from turning into paralysis.

Avoid comparison traps

Social media can make it seem like everyone else is constantly winning prizes, signing book deals in 2 hours,  getting shortlisted or winning competitions. Sometimes it feels like the same writers are getting success over and over again. It doesn’t seem fair.

What you rarely see:

• the dozens of failed submissions

• abandoned drafts

• emotional stress

• burnout

• confidence crises

Sometimes, writers tend to share highlights, not the full emotional landscape. Try curating your online scrolling carefully. Follow writers who discuss the process honestly, not just achievement. Follow those writers who offer help and advice. Writers who are honest about their journey to publication and not sugar coating it.

Enter competitions strategically, not emotionally

When confidence is low, it’s tempting to enter everything in the hope that one success will “prove” you’re good enough. But over-submitting can increase stress and financial pressure.

Instead:

• research competitions carefully. If they offer feedback, take it as a gift and a chance to improve your work.

• set a realistic submissions budget and choose competitions carefully.

• does this competition go above and beyond to support writers?

• Is there more than one judge, so the outcome isn’t subjective?

• Are they transparent about their processes?

• keep track of deadlines calmly – put reminders in your phone and then try to forget about them.

Quality and sustainability matter more than quantity.

Protect your creative joy

The biggest danger of constant rejection is that writing starts feeling like an endless evaluation or a measuring stick of your self-worth/ability to write. Make sure  writing remains enjoyable and pressure-free. Remember why you do it. Remember that feeling when you sit down at your computer and look up after what seems like an hour and you realise five hours have passed. Remember that feeling when you write something you’re proud of. When your characters leap off the page. When your work makes you laugh or cry. The you fell happy doing it.

Write stories that:

• only you can tell.

• that you are proud of.

• showcase your unique voice – no one else can tell this story like you.

• try to write something you would like to read.

• don’t write to match trends. Chances are by the time your novel would be published, trends will have shifted.

• reconnect with the reasons you started writing in the first place.

• don’t compare the pace of your journey to others. Everyone’s circumstances are different.

A final reminder

Sometimes it’s OK to step away for a while. Take a break. Regroup and recharge. Read books by your favourite writers. Listen to a podcast about writing. Join a book club. Replenish your creative energy.

You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to step back from writing for a while. You are allowed to write slowly or at whatever pace sits you and your lifestyle. It’s not a race, it’s a marathon. And you are still a writer, whether you are listed or published or not.

The writer inside of you is innate, within you, whether you are physically doing it or not. You will come back to it because you cannot NOT write. It is what fuels you.  As a child you wrote stories in notebooks or on your computer. You dreamed of seeing a book with your name on it. You came to writing later in life and realised you were good at it and you enjoyed it. It’s never too late.

None of that has changed. Don’t force it.

Your writing life is not built on one acceptance or rejection email. It’s built quietly, over time, by you when you continue creating despite uncertainty. When you continue to show up DESPITE everything.

And Remember:

·      J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was rejected by 12 publishers before Bloomsbury finally accepted it.

·      Stephen King’s novel Carrie received around 30 rejections before publication. King had even thrown the manuscript away before his wife persuaded him to keep trying.

·      Bernardine Evaristo, before winning the Booker Prize for Girl, Woman, Other, spoke openly about years of rejection, financial struggle and feeling overlooked by the publishing industry.

·      Agatha Christie faced repeated rejections early in her career before becoming one of the world’s bestselling authors.

·      Zadie Smith was rejected by agents before White Teeth became a major literary success.

·      Kathryn Stockett’s The Help was rejected more than 60 times before publication.

·      Richard Osman has spoken about the fear and vulnerability of publishing fiction despite his public success in television.

·      Celeste Ng’s debut novel received numerous rejections before finding a publisher and becoming internationally acclaimed.

·      John le Carré experienced setbacks and disappointing sales before becoming one of Britain’s most respected novelists.

·      Madeline Miller’s The Song of Achilles took around ten years to write and faced multiple setbacks before eventually winning the Orange Prize for Fiction.

·      Beatrix Potter self-published The Tale of Peter Rabbit after publishers repeatedly rejected the manuscript.

·      David Nicholls has spoken openly about rejection, self-doubt and the emotional difficulty of sustaining a writing career.

Keep going. Your voice matters. You matter. Your story needs to be told. We can’t wait to read it.

Kind regards,

Sara Cox

Cheshire Novel Prize Founder